Orgami and b'lore

On Sunday I went to my aunt's place to stay for a couple of days. My 8 year old cousin was overjoyed to see me and had been really looking forward to meeting me. We spent the first day shopping in malls, something most people adore but it can be really tiring.

The following day I had to go for an interview with a social enterprise working with solar energy. To get to the interview I caught an auto as I was running late and on the way I saw what reminded me of the real Bangalore! The hilly roads, wide streets, ppl conversing more easily in English than in Hindi as English is an official language and Hindi is never a necessity. After waiting for a while I met the head of the foundation. She told me about their ventures and work as a organisation which was interesting to see. I kept relaying my inputs to show my keen interest in the domain and we had a good discussion . I was later introduced to some of n the interns working their. Ironically the the only international intern that was here was more upfront in showing me their work and explaining the functioning etc.

After getting back I got o properly interact with my cousin. She is a 8 year old kid that is made to sit at home in her summer so she barely has much to do to keep herself occupied and involved in. So I told her to bring out one of my favorite activity books of all time and we started to make things out of it. It took me back to the times when my father and i similarly sat down together and spent all the weekends and holidays making these amazing things!!! We would make origami hats, animals, birds, flowers and what not. We would make things out of trash or things we usually throw away! So my sister and i had a gala time making all sorts origami things out of newspapers. She was really excited and i felt good because she spent the time very constructively. She is a bright kid and i think she isn't challenged enough mentally. 

Taking me for granted

Fi takes me for granted I think nowadays. I stay up till 5 am to keep her company try n cheer her up. She gets angry if she doesn't see me online on whatsapp. She doesn't talk to me at all in the talks that last till 5 am. Gets irritated n disses me!
If I give her a compliment she cuts me off n says things like u'd say that to ne1 n I don't believe u! She gets offended when I joke. Then she also hates it when I even refer to something remotely romantic! N then claims that I have a one track mind n can't express myself in ne other ways. She at times seems to me just doesn't want to! She is being too selfish n I'm not going to contact her until she does. I'm not ur muse I don't do As u please when u want me to be a certain way, or talk in a certain way! Learn to respect ur partners feelings,psrsonlity n identity or else I don't give a fuck u can lead a self centred lonely life coz I'm sure u'll never find ne1 else that loves u the way I do!

Another crib tale

I'm devastated today! Fi was fine last night we made up is what I thought. But apparently I just made it worse. She won't talk to me any more for a undeclared time. I miss her awfully.
I think she is being selfish n doesn't realize that this decision of hers not only affects her but me too. She said that yesterday al she did was cry,listen to sad songs n not eat or sleep. She has no clue what I went through!
I was depressed as hell! While my friends were partying n having a good time I sat in a corner silently. I didn't smoke up to even try n get over the pain n suffering! I couldn't sleep either. In the end I fell asleep coz I was just tired helping the others!
She should consider talking about is what I said but she wouldn't listen n now I'm screwed! Coz I have 2 tests tomorrow n now it's very hard for me to focus.

The missing spark

Last night fi n I had a long conversation. We have been fighting a lot n haven't had much to say to each other! At first she started of saying that the guy in the relationship is responsible for the romance to stay kindled. Which I personally don't believe coz I think it's a 2 way thing. Then she went on to say that 'she is the man in the relationship' n that offended me! She claimed that I didn't take initiatives! Then we talked more, more looks I talked more! She gets upset easily n at times it's hard to have a mature conversation with her when she is like that!
I Love her nevertheless! Then she got to the point somehow n said that she felt that there has been a lull in the relationship which I thought was true. Then she said we should build it! I asked how coz honestly I've been trying hard! Btw she also sidelined me by saying that I have a ' one track mind' n all I think about is physical intimacy! Which is not true
Then I realized making her count the numerous things I've done to be romantic n create a connection is not going to help. I wanted her to talk but she was trying to avoid the conversation. This was something that is disturbing the both of us n I felt must be dealt with! I was rather sad n unsatisfied with our talk. She also said that it wasn't productive coz she didn't get to say much and I interrupted her many times!
I am scared I'm tending to behave like my dad n the apparent low EQ is bothering me. I'm not exactly angry or annoyed with fi but it's the fear of the same thing happening that happened to my parents that is eating me up from inside!

A different outlook of Delhi!

Today as Tharun n I had planned we went to meet ecosense for da internship. I was sent the address pretty late so we got a lil late. We weren't even sure about how we were going to get thr! We finally took an auto to kalindi kunj. Tharun was starving so he bought these really unusual biscuits that a road side vendor was selling. It was warm n we ate it all on our way till there. Then we took a very interesting vehicle for the next part of our trip, it was this scooter sort of thing which had an extension to seat 4 ppl. It was pretty small but nevertheless comfy. On our way we drove along the width of Yamuna n Tharun for the first time saw what it's colour was like and was astonished! I explained to him that it has been extensively polluted n even the clean drives have been in vain! He was munching on a packet of chips he picked up on the way. He thought of offering it to this little girl sitting in front of us. He asked me, but I told him not to coz we were in da center of a Muslim dominated area and if the father got offended and created trouble we would be in a real mess! Not that i mean ti judge Muslim people.So we just ate it by our selves. We had to change and take a 'phat - phati' (Tata - Magic) till our next destination. This time the ride was comfortable too! We drove past Jamia Milia which seemed to be preparing for their fest 'Milaas'.
Then from where we were dropped off we had to walk about a km or two. We kept asking directions untill I came to the Okhla crossing which seemed familiar! We asked for directions and finally got to the ecosense office!
We were seated in a room and told to wait! But the wait really got long! We waits there for about half an hour and then Abhishek came in told us about the offer n dismissed the meeting quite abruptly. I was really annoyed with that!
Rest of te journey was on the metro which was a different experience to be written about later .

Relationship troubles

I am into da 3rd month of my first relationship. Its new. Rather hard considering its long distance. We have had a tough past week or so post valentines day. I try and show as much love as i can! I genuinely love fi but i don't think she believes that even after the numerous heart to heart conversations i have had with her. 

She is a lovely girl! Very independent (sometimes a lil too much),kind, very loving most of the time.

I may not look i but i went out of my way to make sure valentines week was spl for her! I really made an effort. I'm not a big time romantic type of guy, not a shahrukh khan! I never the less have a spl feeling for fi and i let all the romanticism in me flow. 

Only i'm disappointed when fi has her time of the month and is extremely condescending, rude and irritable! I am a patient guy! But i have my limits. Even niharika thinks fi has it wors than other girls! She gets cranky and irritable! Its hard to have a decent mature conversation with her then. I struggle but i love her so i remain patient n let the time pass.

She doesn't approve me smoking up. Which is natural but then she is trying to play it very smart by saying "You leave smoking when\you want to", but then says she doesn't approve of it n i should quit immediately!

I don't like it that much either, but when i'm lonely inside and things aren't going right with her i get vulnerable. 

I will quit soon.